...and then you drown.

So, it’s A Level Results Day, and I’m personally celebrating three centuries of the newspapers reporting that results are up, they’re too easy and everyone got As. Hooray! I remember my own results day, in the summer of 2001. I was working on Weston beach, and my mum had to pick me up and drive me the twelve odd miles to school. I dashed in, grabbed a paper slip from a desk, and then drove back to work – which was a shame, because my friends got to stand around and look pityingly at those who had missed out on their university places. I do seem to recall going for a milkshake (lime flavour) at lunchtime though. That night we went to the Old Stable on Wadham Street and got drunk; I think the owner Giovanni did one of his famous ‘tricks’ to by-pass the licensing hours – locking the front door and only letting people leave by the side. Finally, the Daily Telegraph has kept up that other great A Level Day tradition, the establishment press printing pictures of photogenic young women celebrating.